My name is Jill. My husband Brad and I were together 36 years. We never had children, but we had each other and a wonderful circle of family and friends. We worked hard and had many fantastic adventures together. We laughed a lot and truly loved spending time together. Brad was athletic, funny, generous, and kind. He was a good example of how God wants us to treat others. No marriage is perfect, of course, but we felt blessed and grateful.
We both retired in early 2023 and were finally starting to put into motion our long-awaited plans to find our sailboat to live aboard and sail the world.
On August 4, 2023, our lives changed. My world was shattered, and I would never be the same. While trimming the edging of the lawn, Brad unknowingly hit a ground nest of yellow jackets. He’d never been allergic to bees before. But there were a lot of them. He quickly suffered an extreme anaphylaxis event and ended up on life support. One week later, I said goodbye my best friend and love of my life.
The days, weeks, and months that followed were a blur. I am so grateful for the many friends and family that surrounded me with love and support. And these friends continue to lift me up. I clung to my relationship with Jesus Christ. I talked to God. I prayed and cried. I counted on God to help me. I couldn’t even see what moving on looked like. I couldn’t see my purpose or direction. I continued to ask God to help me find my way. I had attended Good Shepherd periodically for a few years, but I began attending church more regularly. I needed to be in a community where I felt safe, where I felt God’s presence and heard his message.
During the early weeks after Brad died, I kept hearing about a group called GRIEFSHARE. I decided to find a group and see if would help me with my grief. As it turned out, there was a group starting soon at Good Shepherd. Thank you, God!
I’d never participated in any kind of group like this before. But I gave it a go. It was an unexpected dynamic walking into a small room of strangers and feeling an instant connection. With no words spoken, they all knew how I felt, and I understood their pain as well. We had all joined a club that none of us wanted to belong to. But here we were together. I knew I didn’t have to share until I was ready. I wasn’t and I didn’t. Not for several weeks. But I did listen to the others and heard their stories. What I discovered in those 13 weeks of the GS program was life changing for me. I found understanding and encouragement. I learned tools that helped me and continue to help me navigate my grief. And I wasn’t alone is what I was going through. Our group facilitator, Richard, is awesome. He encouraged us and helped us work through our emotions and thoughts. He also helped us focus on the ways God is ever present for us. I learned that everyone’s grief journey is different and continuous. We don’t ever “get over” our loss. Healing is a process, but we can learn to move forward and even comfort others. We can honor our loved one and still find ways to experience joy again. I am getting ready to participate in my 4th GRIEFSHARE group. Now I’m a “helper”. I hope I can bring some hope and comfort to someone else as others did for me. I’ve also joined a women’s small group with an amazing group of women.
The most important thing I’ve learned since I lost Brad, is that I am not on this journey alone. God carries my burden, hears my cries, and comforts me. I still have sad days and sometimes feel lost. But I remind myself that God is strong enough for both of us and he will never leave me. I know that Brad is in His care now. That brings me hope and peace.
You can Learn More about GriefShare here.
